It doesn't get much better than this. In the April 14th "Sunday Styles" section of "The New York Times" there is a pithy article "Lessons in Domestic Diplomacy". The author, Bruce Feiler, puts aside his male privilege and openly explores, quoting conflict resolution's and psychology's best, ways to resolve conflict at home. He details 7 specific tips to traverse an argument more effectively. Save yourself some grief and read this article. It could be the most worthwhile 5 minutes you spend all week.
In Monday's NY Times, there was an article about the skepticism some psychologists have for online dating algorithms and their ability to make successful romantic matches. "A Match in the Code" discusses what is problematic about assuming that if potential dating partners have similarities in traits (e.g., agreeableness, degree of sexual and romantic passion) they will click. Some of the research psychologists indicate that a lot more goes into compatibility than similarities. As a psychologist who works with couples getting together and splitting up, I agree. As I mentioned in a previous blog ("Preventing Divorce Before Marriage"), expectations play a large role in dating success and marriage. Is a couple looking for a smooth ride or do they understand that a successful relationship takes a lot of hard work, perseverance, patience, and communication skills? As Dr. John Gottman demonstrated in his couples' research in which he could predict couple's divorce with 90% accuracy, the way you approach your partner when resolving issues is key. Perhaps online dating sites should consider this in their algorithm?